Even the most capable executive teams struggle, and the cause is less about lack of skill, but rather because unspoken tensions, competing priorities, and deeply ingrained habits get in the way. Yet, real alignment isn’t about sitting in meetings and enjoying a pleasant conversation. It’s about thinking, deciding, and leading as one. 

 

Drawing on decades of experience working with leadership teams, Dr. Simon Kettleborough and Patricia Weijzen of Aephoria reveal why so many executive teams feel stuck – and what it takes to move beyond surface-level collaboration to drive real impact.

What’s the Difference Between an Effective and Ineffective Executive Team?

One team functions – maybe even efficiently, from a business point of view – but the other operates on an entirely different level. What makes the difference?

 

Patricia Weijzen puts it down to the capability of teaming. “There’s a different quality to people truly relating, working together, and being effective versus a group of individuals working in silos,” she explains. She sees self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and relational intelligence as fundamental. “It’s about managing yourself more consciously than when you’re working separately.” 

 

She highlights that the ability to step out of your own function and truly connect with others is what leads to real collaboration, and, as a result, a more effective team. 

Why Executive Teams Struggle to Work Cohesively

The biggest challenge executive teams face when trying to work cohesively isn’t a lack of intelligence, experience, or ambition. “It’s themselves,” points out Dr. Simon Kettleborough. 

 

At the heart of the issue is a relentless focus on the transactional – on numbers, KPIs, and bottom lines – while the human, relational element of leadership remains a blind spot. Questions like “Where are we on the numbers? How are we going to hit the target?” dominate executive meetings, leaving little space for the deeper, more complex conversations. But there are external factors at play, too:  

The Complexity of the Modern Business Landscape

Patricia Weijzen has been working with executive teams for over 20 years, and she’s seen how much the landscape has shifted. “Teams today are navigating an overwhelmingly complex environment. There are multiple stakeholders, competing strategic objectives, and constant organisational change. It’s hard to find solid ground.”

 

Executive teams are also more fluid than ever, with members constantly moving in and out of the company and within the company. It’s challenging to maintain cohesion when everything is in flux. It’s no wonder so many executive teams struggle to find a shared purpose.

The Human Factor

There’s also the messy, emotional side of leadership. “Working in a team means your defences are constantly being triggered,” Patricia explains. “When you’re working alone, there’s no one to push your buttons.” However, in an executive team, you’re dealing with strong personalities, different leadership styles, and underlying tensions. That’s tough for anyone.

 

The result? Many teams avoid difficult conversations. Instead of addressing interpersonal issues head-on, they sweep them under the rug. And the longer these unspoken frustrations fester, the more toxic the environment becomes.

 

“The elephants in the room get bigger, psychological safety diminishes, and before you know it, teams are just existing.” – Dr. Simon Kettleborough. 

Why Businesses Keep Prioritising Numbers Over People

Despite all this, businesses continue to hyper-focus on metrics. The problem is systemic. Shareholders, boards, and economic models reward financial performance, not emotional intelligence. Organisations measure profit margins, not psychological safety. The human aspect of leadership is seen as a ‘soft skill’ rather than a fundamental driver of success.

 

In Dr. Simon Kettleborough’s words, if organisations spent half as much time working on relationships as they do on spreadsheets, they’d be in a much better place.

 

“When numbers are down, the first instinct isn’t to invest in leadership development. It’s to cut costs, streamline processes, and push harder.” – Patricia Weijzen.

How Aephoria Does Leadership Development Differently

Many leadership development programmes follow a predictable pattern: a structured curriculum, standardised content, and a one-size-fits-all approach. You go through the motions, tick the boxes, and at the end, maybe you’ve picked up a few insights, but real transformation is rare.

 

Aephoria goes about its work differently. Our approach is tailored, contextually relevant, and unique – not just in methodology, but in philosophy.

 

• Customized process. Aephoria avoids putting people through a standardised process with standardised elements and expecting a standard outcome because we recognise how deeply idiosyncratic each person’s relationship is to the organisation, its context, and its culture. We match desired outcomes with strategy, expressed and requisite range of maturity, and the personality of the team and its members.

 

• Measurable. One of the most groundbreaking aspects of Aephoria’s approach is its ability to measure the impact of leadership development. We’ll take a team on a nine to 12-month journey, testing their maturity at the beginning and the end. By the end, we can say that 50% of this group (for example) has matured by one stage or more. 

 

“If you try to wedge everyone through the same team or leadership development process, you will get many different outcomes because people are different. But if you allow different processes to happen inside those individuals, then you won’t get the same outcome. At Aephoria, we’re always enabling a more mature human and a more mature organisation.” – Dr. Simon Kettleborough.  

 

That’s why our approach works. Because in the end, effective leadership isn’t about knowing more. It’s about being more.

How the Enneagram Helps Us See Ourselves and Each Other More Clearly

Most personality tests give you a neat little label: You’re a strategist. You’re a collaborator. You’re a problem-solver. They describe how you behave, but don’t dig into why you do what you do. The Enneagram does. And that makes all the difference.

 

At Aephoria, we see the Enneagram as a way to help leaders see themselves and their teams with fresh eyes. 

Making Conflict Less Personal

One of the biggest frustrations in executive teams is misreading each other’s intentions. Someone dominates the conversation, and it feels like they’re trying to take control. Another person is overly cautious, and it seems like they’re resisting change. Tensions build, and before long, it starts feeling personal.

 

The Enneagram shifts that. Instead of assuming that “he’s just being controlling” or “she’s just being difficult”, teams start recognising patterns. That person who dominates? Maybe they’ve been wired to believe their value comes from being the toughest person in the room. The one who resists change? Maybe they need security and certainty before they can fully commit. Suddenly, instead of frustration, there’s understanding.

 

This shift changes the way teams interact. It lowers defensiveness, builds trust, and creates space for real conversations and progress. 

A Fast-Track to Self-Awareness

Most leadership development takes time to break through the surface. The Enneagram speeds things up. It doesn’t just show leaders who they are – it holds up a mirror to their blind spots and habitual patterns, and that can be a game-changer.

 

People start recognising, “Oh, that’s why I always react this way under pressure. Or “That’s why I get frustrated with certain people – it’s not them, it’s my own wiring.” That kind of realisation transforms entire teams.

The Importance of Marrying the Enneagram and Maturity

But personality is only part of the picture. That’s where maturity comes in, because the same personality type can show up very differently depending on where someone is in their development journey. Two leaders of the same Enneagram type but at a different stage of maturity will have a completely different mindset, wider perspective, and more evolved responses than someone still operating from old habits.

 

That’s why at Aephoria, we employ both the Enneagram and maturity to assess and work with executive teams. 

What Maturity Looks Like in Effective and Ineffective Teams

Dr. Simon Kettleborough introduces the analogy of a fleet of boats. The business is the big boat. And then you’ve got the sales boat, the marketing boat, the supply chain boat – each department operating as its own vessel. 

 

What often happens is that the CEO, or the general manager, is the only one sitting in the big boat, looking at the whole picture, while everyone else is focused on steering (and defending and promoting) their own little boat. 

 

Unsurprisingly, this doesn’t make for effective collaboration.

 

When executives show up wearing only their functional hats, meetings can become a series of reports – ‘Here’s what’s happening in marketing, here’s what’s happening in sales.’ Everyone holds onto their own territory. There can even be competition. This undercuts any real progress or collaboration.

 

In contrast, an effective team makes decisions for the greater good of the business, even when those decisions might put a temporary strain on one department. It’s about stepping back and saying, ‘Okay, this is a marketing-led decision, and it might mean sales take a hit in the short term. But in the long run, this is what’s best for the entire organisation.’ That requires a more mature approach from individuals and the team.

 

“That mindset shift is part of what separates effective executive teams from a group of individuals that hang together twice a week because they’re department heads and are required to.” – Dr. Simon Kettleborough.

The Role of Individual Growth In Team Growth

The best teams aren’t just a collection of skilled people working together. They’re made up of self-aware leaders who understand themselves, understand and respect each other, and know how to bring out the best in the group. And that doesn’t happen by accident – it happens when both individual and team growth get the attention they deserve.

 

Here’s how:

 

• Personal coaching deepens self-awareness. Leaders start to identify their habits, triggers, and blind spots. One-on-one developmental coaching also accelerates leadership maturation. Our research shows leaders mature much faster the more one-on-one coaching they receive alongside the team work.

 

• Team development work reinforces individual insights in real time. It’s one thing to realise you dominate conversations in coaching; it’s another to catch yourself doing it in a meeting and to adjust.

 

• Balance matters. Teams combining individual coaching with group development see greater trust, behaviour, and alignment shifts.

Why Invest in External Coaching for Executives

Executive teams often struggle not with what they know, but with what they don’t know, see, feel and do. Caught up in daily demands, it’s hard to recognise blind spots, unspoken tensions, and ingrained habits. As the venerable, charismatic psychotherapist R.D. Laing once said; “the range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice”. External coaching provides a mirror, challenging assumptions and offering fresh perspectives that drive real change.

 

Unlike internal facilitators, who may unintentionally limit openness as a result of role-constraints, power dynamics and other complex systemic forces, external coaches create a neutral space where leaders can speak freely without fear of judgment. They also bring insights from diverse industries, helping teams break out of their usual thinking and adopt new approaches.

What’s the First Step Towards Developing a More Effective Team?

“Choose the red pill, not the blue pill,” Dr. Simon Kettleborough jokes, before going on to explain his point. “We can turn up and sit in a room and play nice for two days and give everyone a really easy ride, and then at the end they can say, ‘We had a lovely team development session,’ but nothing’s really changed. That’s the blue pill. You choose the red pill if you want to actually do the work properly.”

 

The first step is just to commit to the work. A simple but powerful question to start with is:

 

How can I make myself easier to work with?

 

It’s deceptively simple, but when each team member asks it – and genuinely listens to the responses – they begin taking personal responsibility for team dynamics. It shifts the focus from what others need to change to what I can do differently. 

The Real Changes Leaders Experience After Doing the Work

Leaders develop compassion. They learn to navigate complexity without feeling overwhelmed. Their ability to build relationships at work and even at home improves. Dr. Simon Kettleborough and Patricia Weijzen share how many teams have said they became better partners, parents, and friends since “doing the work”.

 

And then there’s the hunger for more. Once leaders start to see themselves and their teams in a new way, they don’t want to stop. They want deeper conversations, better collaboration, and more meaningful ways to lead. That’s when leadership development stops being just a programme and becomes part of how they think and operate every day.

 

This growth is sometimes uncomfortable. Scratching the surface is easy, but changing deep-seated patterns takes work. Don’t look for quick wins. It’s when we commit to the work, even when it hurts, that we start seeing the world – and ourselves – more clearly. 

 

That’s where a merely functional executive team ends, and an effective executive team begins. 

 

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About Dr. Simon Kettleborough

With 30 years of experience, Dr. Simon Kettleborough is CEO of Aephoria and specialises in long-term leadership development across private, public, and non-profit sectors. He holds a Doctorate in Existential Psychotherapy and multiple advanced degrees, including an MBA and an MSc in Sustainable Development. 

 

A member of the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) and other professional bodies, Simon is British and has lived and worked in the UK, France, Belgium, Brazil and South Africa .

 

Connect with Simon.

About Patricia Weijzen

With over 25 years of experience, Patricia Weijzen specialises in leadership transformation and building healthy organisations. She has worked with global brands like ING, Unilever, Mercedes-Benz, and Philips, bringing expertise in systemic coaching, organisational change, and team development.

 

A former senior leader at ING, Patricia holds Master’s degrees in Education and Marketing and multiple coaching certifications, including PCC, integrative coaching, and NLP. Having lived and worked across Europe, Asia, and Africa, she brings deep cross-cultural insight to her work. 

 

Connect with Patricia.