Have you ever facilitated a meeting, whether in person or on Zoom and found yourself wondering if anyone was truly paying attention? In virtual settings, it might be a sea of dark, empty screens. In person, it could be people sneaking glances at their phones or stepping out for “a quick call.” In both cases, you’ve encountered leaky containers – moments where focus and engagement slip away, making it harder to maintain connection and flow.

 

“The thing that makes facilitation gripping is its ability to access feelings,” says Dr. Julia Kukard, Chief Knowledge Officer at Aephoria. In an online setting, in particular, the relational ingredient key for unlocking feelings (and making learning and transformation meaningful) often goes missing. 

 

“Leaky containers aren’t going anywhere given how we are being bombarded by physical and psychological stimuli competing for our attention” says Dr. Kukard. “So the focus needs to be on working with distractions consciously instead of thinking we can eliminate them.” That’s what she shares in this article – a guideline for every facilitator who’s faced a distracted audience. 

 

What we’ll chat about:

• What Is a Safe Container?
• What Is a Leaky Container?
• The Telltale Signs of a Leaky Container
• How Do Leaky Containers Impact a Facilitation Session?
• How to Work With a Leaky Container
• How Aephoria Approaches Facilitation and Leaky Containers

What Is a Safe Container? 

A safe container is an environment we create in a group setting where everyone feels secure, respected, and fully present. In this space, people can express themselves freely, knowing the facilitator and their peers support them. 

What Is a Leaky Container?

A leaky container occurs when the environment we’ve carefully built begins to deteriorate, leading to a loss of focus and connection. In virtual settings, this might be due to the constant ping of notifications, people checking emails, or distractions from home creeping into a Zoom call. In person, it could be participants getting up frequently, people leaving the room for other meetings, or disengaging by focusing on other tasks that demand their attention.

These interruptions cause participants to mentally drift, leading to a breakdown in group cohesion. For the facilitator, this can disrupt the flow of the session, making it harder to maintain engagement and guide the process effectively. The impact on the group is also significant – once a few participants become disengaged, it can create a ripple effect, weakening the sense of safety, structure, and focus essential for productive and meaningful work.

The Telltale Signs of a Leaky Container

One of the clearest signs of a leaky container is when participants leave the room for another meeting (sometimes never to return) or get distracted by outside responsibilities. These leaks are often driven by the pressure of time constraints and the anxiety of juggling multiple commitments, rather than simply boredom. Whether in a virtual meeting or an in-person workshop, participants may feel pulled in different directions, leading them to mentally check out, even if they remain physically present.

In both settings, you’ll notice the signs – people seem distracted or disconnected, often missing instructions or zoning out during group discussions. When you send participants into breakaway groups, they may seem uncertain about what to do because they weren’t fully engaged in the initial conversation.

Divided attention creates a ripple effect. This can disrupt group cohesion, slow down the process, and make it more difficult for both the facilitator and participants to stay on track. The trust between participants breaks down, leading to subconscious questions about people’s intentions, desire to learn and ability to listen fully. 

How Do Leaky Containers Impact a Facilitation Session?

While challenging, leaky containers offer obstacles and opportunities in facilitation sessions. Dr. Kukard notes how this lack of focus often leads to a reluctance to share or express oneself openly, as participants don’t feel the respect or engagement they need to be vulnerable. 

 

This is especially challenging when the goal of facilitation rests upon relationships and connections – something that’s hard to do when everyone is half-present.

 

“You can only learn about relationships in a relationship with another human, and if we do not have that chance, then what are we learning about relationships? Relationships are like surfing; you can only learn how to surf by doing it.” – Dr. Julia Kukard.

 

For the facilitator, this means managing an inconsistent flow of attention. When people come and go, it often requires repeating instructions or explanations multiple times, which disrupts the session’s rhythm and slows down progress. For example, if participants leave halfway through a sharing exercise in pairs or small groups, it can break the trust and connection that was being built, forcing the facilitator to help the remaining participant regroup or start over.

 

This constant re-engagement effort can make it harder for facilitators to maintain momentum, as the process becomes less smooth and more fragmented. The facilitator is left juggling participants’ varied levels of attention and involvement, which can lead to frustration and fatigue.

How to Work With a Leaky Container

Leaky containers are a reality we need to embrace rather than resist. As Dr. Julia Kukard wisely suggests, shaming participants for being distracted or anxious about other priorities isn’t going to help – it might even push them further away. Instead, the goal is to invite them in more fully, creating a space where they want to engage. 

 

After all, we live in a world where the intensity and speed of work and life are greater than ever. People commit to more than one thing because they don’t see another option; when everything needs to be done and everything is urgent, what choice is there but to multitask (albeit ineffectively)? 

 

If you encounter a ghosting scenario, remember that it’s likely the result of the participants’ learned behaviour from previous contexts. This points to an overarching principle: as a facilitator, do what is appropriate and relevant for the group you’re currently working with. 

 

Dr. Kukard recommends the following approaches, too: 

 

• Set up the space. For in-person sessions, creating a room where participants feel welcome, safe and contained helps. Aephoria facilitation mostly happens in a circle of chairs without desks in a room with natural light and privacy that supports the container. In virtual environments, we play music as people enter and encourage people to switch on their videos from the start.

 

• Contract upfront. In facilitated sessions, designing rules of engagement as a group upfront can nip many problems in the bud before they happen. This may include a request not to schedule other work during a meeting or workshop with the first invitation that goes to participants. Take account of the culture of the system you are working in to understand how big an issue this might be. 

 

• Name it to manage it. When the container leaks in multiple ways, name the challenge and ask the group to take responsibility for it. How do they want to work with it? What rules of engagement do they want to put in place to respond to the leaks in the container?

 

• Make sessions more emotional and human. When we connect emotionally, it’s easier to hold attention and build deeper connections. We must accept that people will multitask and have divided attention, but it is the role of the facilitator or chair of the meeting to track the extent and impact of this on the work being done. 

 

“Focus on what can be controlled. Sometimes, the only way to strengthen a leaky container is to make the session compelling, personal and emotional,” recommends Dr. Kukard. 

 

• Create structure in your sessions. Instead of an all-day workshop, consider breaking it down into manageable three-hour sessions, with  breaks every 90 minutes. This makes it less overwhelming for participants. But take into account the topic. For example, a few hours won’t get you or your participants very deep into the topic if you’re deep diving with the Enneagram.

 

• Be more interactive. In traditional in-person workshops, the facilitator leads, and participants follow, but in virtual settings, participants must take more ownership of their engagement.  Dr. Kukard suggests shifting responsibility to participants: “What you learn is up to you.” 

 

Encourage this by making sessions interactive using smaller breakaway groups where participants feel more accountable and less likely to drift off.

 

• Manage your expectations. It’s unrealistic to expect perfect alignment in your group. Embrace the diversity of attention spans, engagement levels, and cultural differences. By working with what each participant brings to the table, you can create a more dynamic and inclusive environment that respects everyone’s unique way of engaging.

 

After all, different people have different ideas about what they must do in the group. Standing up to take a phone call can be perfectly normal, even polite protocol during a session. Context matters – there’s no cookie-cutter set of rules everyone is automatically aware of. 

The Role of the Facilitator Within Leaky Containers

The facilitator’s own presence, energy, and even biases play a crucial role in either reinforcing or weakening the container of a session. As Dr. Julia Kukard points out, facilitation isn’t just about showing up; it’s about being fully present and engaged. If the facilitator is burned out, distracted, or not genuinely invested, it’s easy for that energy to seep into the group.

 

Dr. Kukard also highlights the importance of being well-prepared and dynamic in your approach. Incorporating movement, a diversity of approaches, and interactive elements like videos, polls and breakouts can engage your participants in online meetings.

 

In in-person sessions, the facilitator has more control over the environment from the start; the way in which the facilitator responds to the leaks as they start happening is crucial. If the facilitator isn’t tracking the room, naming things as they arise, and asserting the agenda, one leak will quickly become many.

How Aephoria Approaches Facilitation and Leaky Containers

At Aephoria, our approach to facilitation is all about meeting people where they are and guiding them toward growth in a way that feels both supportive and challenging. Whether face-to-face or online, we design our programs with a deep understanding of the maturity levels of the groups we work with.

 

• Face-to-face sessions: We focus on creating a strong, engaging environment where participants can connect deeply with the material, process of learning and each other. We create adult learning environments where people take responsibility for how they show up and what they learn, do and share in a session. 

 

• Online: We leverage tools like breakaway rooms, music, somatic work, interactive elements, and contextual exercises to keep the energy high and the engagement strong. 

How Maturity Dictates Facilitation Format

Dr. Kukard emphasises that our approach varies depending on the group’s maturity. For those groups at earlier stages, we keep it simple – for example, using practical case studies and applied exercises to keep things meaningful. For more mature groups, the focus shifts to deeper conversations and more complex interactions, allowing for a richer, often more emergent process.

 

There are two primary ways we facilitate learning at Aephoria:

 

• Structured Approach: We clearly outline how the session will unfold. This method is particularly effective for those who find comfort in structure. It provides a clear map, allowing participants to feel safe and grounded.

 

• Fluid Approach: Alternatively, we might take a more open-ended, emergent approach, reflecting the unpredictability of the real world. This can be more challenging but also more rewarding, as it encourages participants to let go of their defences and engage more naturally with the process. 

 

People today tend to be more protective of their personal space and often multitask during facilitation sessions. In this way, leaky containers reflect the reality of our modern, connected lives. They remind us that people balance many roles and responsibilities, often blending their personal and professional worlds. 

 

The only way to address a leaky container is to stop trying to plug the holes and tailor your facilitation session to the unique individuals within it. 

 

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About Dr. Julia Kukard

With 30+ years in learning and development, Dr. Julia Kukard has worked globally with multinationals, governments, and NGOs. Her expertise spans coaching, psycho-education, and psychotherapy, helping individuals and groups thrive.

 

Julia holds degrees in Art History and Psychology, an MBA from UCT, and a Doctorate in Existential Psychotherapy from Middlesex University, UK. She has co-taught leadership at UCT and co-authored a book on fostering mature leadership and cultures. Julia’s work is dedicated to developing leaders and creating environments that support human growth.

 

Connect with Julia. 

 

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